Batch Bituon: Puso Lang Po.

All those nights, all those days. And this the fruit i'm going carry along with my name.

MARK ANTHONY PESCADOR CELESTIAL, RN

iyong lingkod.

Sad sad SOngs

Here are some songs i often listen to these days. partly because they're relatable in my past experiences and for studying reasons. The singers' voices are calming and personally i can say effective for memory retention. I found them at 8tracks.com and among my favorite study playlists. Ed Sheeran will always be there. The covers are beyond superlative.
~at some point i told myself to stay away from sad songs because they could easily sear through my heart, and affect my concentration. That's why instrumentals back me up, and i could easily find inspiration in them.
~at some point during the review too, apart from the contribution i had to make for the next issue of Kurit (our literary folio) which has an additive effect to my writer's drive to create pieces of poems and stories i'm dying to put to end tonight, i had this belief that if i mix my craft with my goal- I can succeed.
~Here.
Ed Sheeran also has Skinny Love Cover, Birdy did an flightful job.

:(((

Exclusively relatable.

I'm not forgetting God in every day i live. This song from Kari Jobe
is congruent to my glorified feeling. You are BEAUTIFUL God,
i ran out of words to say. when i listen to it, i feel secured, that He's
with me from the moment i recognised Him as my saviour until forever.

PNLE Here I come. Headstrong

Fall by Ed Sheeran

Them Good Old Videoke Days: I miss singing with my sister and my brothers.

With Tweeny!

With my best High School friends. You'd be the judge if puberty did its job that well.

The BER Months

Christmas Eve, I just can’t sleep.

I am dreaming of a cold white Christmas.

1. I’ve got loads of things coming up in my mind, and i can’t seem to form them all in sentences that would tell directly what I feel. I suppose, everyone feels that way, huh? I haven’t updated much on my journal these days even when most of the time at home, I spent sleeping and staring at the television, or maybe because home in the present situation is a refuge place for a battle-worn soldier like me. I don’t want to begin my academic outcries in here because all the procrastination and stuffs I started this second semester, don’t give me the rights to do that (Insert Superego Ghost). The scent of home and cabinet-stocked pillows lulls me to rest my humble muscles to the point of not moving anywhere at all like getting into the bathroom-kanding moments, I’ve got a lot those. One more thing about home is when you see your siblings, all grown out that big and tall, and you feel so old inside and out, physically and mentally. I’m happy to see them, being so healthy and well-nourished; my assessment skills won’t fail me at that. It’s now difficult to pick on them. They seem to have acquired cognitive reasoning over things.

2. My Mama and Papa never stopped working. Iced candy and relip here and there. It makes me upset sometimes, that they have to work hard for us, and me, knowing the amount my course and lodging costs. We are very thankful to God for giving us loving parents, and for keeping us in the best of health. Every day, I pray to Him, that He will strengthen and keep us together. . I only got three months left at nursing school. I’m so nearing the finale of my studentship and hoping along with it is the end of financial dilemmas at home. My older brother can’t be with us these holidays. He’s working on an inter-island ship (I haven’t had much idea about it), and the peak season requires him to stay on board. This year’s Christmas is incomplete without him. Partially perfect Christmas.  

Little girl with undying hyperactivity. 

3. I stayed too long in the city. I babysit-ed my pamangkin with glee, she even punched me in the face for not responding everytime she says sorry. She’s so polite now but still hyperactive. She has this Ipad and I spent the night exploring the games and becoming proficient.

Team AWEsome with Ma'am Sioson and her daughter, Bea. 

4. Two weeks before the year-ender for us Batch Bituon officially ends the RLEs (TBC opcors) and hints the beginning of holiday vacaciones which meant long dreamy rests, I was the team leader of my subgroup. Hahaha. I went on duty on my first day with a fully enthusiastic smile and the time it was for me to make my speech, i told my members that there’s one thing we can constantly cling on within ourselves, it’s the CHARM. If most of us were secured about having SKA in totality (which they say are the legal qualities an SN should possess) no one would have ever agreed with me, or might just me alone. Nonetheless, Charm is the best tool during collaborative relationships (doctors, staff nurses, etc.). From that day forward, we called ourselves, TEAM CHARMING. The other subgroup was called Team Elegance. We gave the idea too, although it really originated from King Cordova himself, the founder of King Cordova’s Hospital for Cardiopulmonary Maladies.

        Our Christmas party at HiWay 21 KTV was a blast. I was able to exhaust my larynx but still get to talk the next day.

That's Summer. She's my Best Friend. 

5. My love life right now have hanged out of balance, it might stay that way for long until I meet the next season for romance, a real romance. I’m not searching right now, especially because school and family are obligating me to look ahead and follow the schedules like 6 am arrival at the ward. I have loads of fun memories with my friends to ever think about the past relationship I was left figuratively hanging for 5 days, which made me give up on it. I will have another post for those hate-love-lust-truth transitions in my life (it pricks my heart every time I think about it). I’m haaaappy everything had gone too well for me whilst on the process of forgetting the feeling, you know, letting your brain take the wheel.

Nocturnal.

6. Listening to Ed Sheeran’s songs and his fantastic covers in Infinite Playlist. Man, he is incredible. His composition more than the lyrics has got a lot of stories to tell especially because I find them exclusively relatable. I wouldn’t want to romanticize everything here; Watching 500 days of Summer, meeting Summer herself and talking to a Hobbitch (Hobbit + Witch) friend are all letting me swallow reality and expel heavy end-of-the-day sighs. My support system isn’t failing me after all.

So dare of my neighbor to turn his music so loud when all of them are increasingly disturbing as they play and less likely aren’t helping me recover? I’m speculating he’s in Padugo stage. I know the feeling and off my sympathies go.

My brother there is the guitarist. The three ladies do the vocals and modelling. It's not as if they don't have the potential to make a band someday. 

My cousins too are singing torpe songs in a full moon, I, getting clouded by the aroma of mosquito repellent and bearing it long as the Wifi here (at my Tita’s house) is free. I’m praying the connection at home gets fixed real soon. 

We didn't have the latest picture. We're 6-manned actually. 

7. Getting reunited with your high school chums again, it was not one of the fun moments just like before. Since then i learned to keep quiet and listen to how they exchange information about the people who impressed them and superficial sort of things. I found it excessively pointless sometimes but I had a great laugh. I think my mind is searching for things with a more substance aside from the bulk it has with research. Research is getting into my nerves now; I probably should start editing our manuscript before the year ends or else I might be spending an entire year of editing something, entailed by superstitions.

Bittersweet. 

8. Respectively Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1and 2 are coming out in HBO, and I assume in two days’ time it’ll be. I have never outgrown this fandom and will be carrying it to the grave. Just a moment ago I was contemplating over the future of my collected Harry Potter items like coloring books, post cards, and stuffed toys (all are second-hand, thanks Booksale and Ukay-ukay) for I think my profession will have me board a plane and go abroad, there will no one to look after them since I was not able to influence the strong minds of the people at home. Somewhere in Europe I wish, to some place near my idols and so i can gaze at gingerheads everywhere until the occasion gets usual to me. Harry Potter series- it has my life in it. Been updating my HP planner, dueling friends at Pottermore, watching fan-made tribute videos in Youtube and reading HP and the Prisoner of Azkaban, my favorite above all.

9. My mama’s headache is troubling me. I spent an hour researching about this disease, I won’t be revealing about it. She will have a nurse soon for a son and there’s no way I’m going to allow anyone outside the medical profession to just tell her to take aspirin each time she has headache. I suspect it to be cerebrovascular in origin. I did my brief and not-so exhaustive history taking and she’d been having headache for a long time. I was telling her to submit herself to CT scan and have a check-up. I just hope I can convince her the soonest. It will all be quite ironic because the health teachings we generously give to touch the lives of our patients, can’t even bore themselves get through our parents.

This summarizes by whole Ber months. 

Ever Coveted Shoes

   I searched everywhere, for designs of my project. In the coming holidays i thought of rewarding myself of something HP related. Voila! It materialised to this as a form of remuneration.

  My housemate spared some of his time (count off the procrastination) to hand-paint my pair of white shoes.
I can't wait to wear it this coming Christmas Party with my Gryffindor shirt to match.

  I deserve this!

 

Last December 17.

I miss the sea. I miss everything in me.

I miss the  sea, I miss everything in me.

Life  is a bitch. There are a lot of bitches in the sea.

She's not the only one. Then why can't you be a bitch too.

Bitchin is mainstream. I want to be the good guy.

You want to be hurt?

Why you asked?

Bad things happen to guys like you, there aren't any goodness left in the world.

May be i  have set my hopes to high.

Yes, absolutely.

Do you love her? 

Yes I do.

Were you the only one? 

I Don't know.

There goes the problem.

Maybe i'll keep on loving?

Even though you're hurt?

EVEN WHEN I'M HURT.

Are you threatened of her past?

Why you asked?

Because I'm thinking, you judged her first.

Yes i did! But i accepted her all. The imperfections you say. I'm secured with them. 

But there's more to her than what meets me.

And I am not sure if she will stay. Stay! Stay!

IT'S NOT THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS ANYMORE.

I miss the sea, and everything in me.
Before you came, I can calm everything i see.
I breathe quiet hopefully when you had me.

Broken Strings

My partner in silly WTF!!! crackings and accent impulses! This woman gifted with spontaneity is Mayee. My Summer. 

Specs.Spirit.Scent.Supplies

One of the days before CHN duty went on full course. Never have i thought that i'd be so stressed this first week in the area plus the upcoming seminar on Saturday (Nov 17).  With only 6 days of preparation, the probability of pulling everything off was NO way KNOWN. 

MIRROR. We were at E.O. waiting for the optometrist to call my name. My grade's 50 for both eyes by the way, with astigmatism. I'm very happy my two house mates from the College of Medicine accompanied me a midst the current exams to study for. I love them. Always.

BOOKSALE. I had Miss Rolin the librarian (clerk) at booksale took this photo for me. I was sitting there in the newly arrived boxes looking at the books with scrutiny. (scripted)

My last two bottles of Zwitsal-my signature cologne. 

SUPPLIES. One thing I cant deny is my natural impulse in buying pens - of different colors. Good thing Nang RJ allowed me to borrow her 48 different non-toxic crayons from Crayola. If my pens empty, i still keep them. 

KOREAN. Not a fan, but this chewies delighted my taste buds.. The little amount left of my tuition did not survive for the week. 

THERE. ano sa English ang kiwi?

F^ck Giid Yah!

Tonight/day was a series of bullshitting revelations and realisations, or another busted moments.
I really wanted to cry. (I cried)

CRY CRY CRY all i want.  (non congruent photo)I was close to describing my self as a PULP. I really wanted to burst! This motorcycle
(on which i haven't really experience driving) was stolen by some klepto just beside the house. My papa was very confident, because for years of parking it outside safely, no one would ever had the intention to steal it. In this picture i was pretending i could drive it. Right now, im in the city, and i know everybody at home is going ballistic, and angry, and blaming each other. I don't even have the idea if Papa and Mama finished paying their dues in this automobile. They've been paying for it in a monthly basis. arrgh! Curse you Klepto! whoever you are, the motorcycle's affinity is with us. Hope its gasoline will burn your testes and sterilize you forever (forgive me Dear Jesus)!

Whatever this photo is faking, i don't care at all! This motorcycle has been our saving grace. My mama, papa, brothers, Okaaay! Everyone in the house knows how to drive it already! Except me, and princess, but she'll have the drive soon enough. (i promised to my self that i will travel on four wheels). Fuuuuu! Without the motorcycle, it will be hard for mama to sukot her pautang sa relip,  and papa to drive my siblings to school and all our the livelihood functions of the motorcycle No efficiency.  I was counting down my tuition fee when the news took me.
everything was impossible to believe. Concepcion, especially our compound (of college teachers and their families) isn't visited by crime or nuissance.  I can even leave the house open and unlocked and get back with everything intact in broad day and night light. How rare is rare if you get lucky.

What a bull!

My crush, said hello to me tonight! I was enthusiastic of course! Or maybe at least i can set aside the things that burden me at the moment and message her, and stay awake and dream happily afterwards. After i replied hi you! 
She asked for my friend's number!??? a male friend.
 How and What do you think does and will that make me feel!!!!!!?? I dont want to elaborate on it, its my life and my blog- so i decide who gives the explanation. This time,. my own is!

The Bull i'm pertaining to isn't my crush but I. Who was so ambitious, trying to capture a heart that is free  and repelling.

Show OFF!

Some show off git just in the round tables. 

Scarborough Fair (Ma Own Version)

Are you going to Scarborough Fair?

 And kiss,

Morning Glories in the blooming night and bare

Evening Primrose, will petals cut my skin? 

And kiss,

A pristine youth like mortal’s hidden sin

Mounting peaks flaunting high can you see? 

And kiss,

Snowflakes cold like heart beating is for thee.

Search me the finest sea anemone? 

And kiss,

Darling clothes the beggars sewn for me.

Can you remedy aches of happy memories? 

And knot,

Strings as traps for mayflies and honey bees.

Must hunger embrace my town city? 

Believe me,

All I want is a glaze donut from Jollibee.

Then you’ll be, my true love maybe.

Give me Love

Frosts on darling beds of flower spectacles.¹⁰

Where stagnant are dewdrops of clear marbles.¹⁰

A flutter of tiny wings that pirouette into the sky.¹⁵

Entrance of spring blends the sunshine⁸

When crisp creature dances in the early light.¹⁰

Blooming are buds in shades of red and white. ¹⁰

The hungry bugs chomp all that’s green and lush¹⁰

Lively flight of butterflies starts to rush.¹⁰

Here comes the crowd of towering trees.⁹

With the minty air to celebrate and tease.¹¹

Humus kissed by lost tiny seeds.⁸

Flown by the breeze, carried by bees.⁸

The sun up it shines, glowing the fields⁹

I can see them both-celestial orbs⁹

twinkle of  stars and the beaming moon⁹

resemble your eyes in  daylight tune⁹

Blanket of weeds covered the earth⁸

Embracing your skin, warmth and curved⁸

The Victoria scent and lemon grass⁹

Tells how perfect this moment should last⁹

The minute you smile, for me it meant.⁹

A bundle of joy that heaven’s sent.⁹

When you mimic the way flowers bent.⁹

This space my heart reserves, free of rent.⁹

You lay down the heaps of Babies’ Breath⁹

We stare up the skies of bunny clouds⁹

I kissed you behind your cheeky blush⁹

You kissed the nose bridge I cared too much⁹

Give me love the day I pass your test

Give me love once I stand from the rest

Embraced in my arms, staring at endless height

To search fireflies in the curtain of night

No matter how seasons come and go⁹

In the birth of spring I’d like you to know⁹

In sheer hopes and gutsy melody⁹

Nature sings my heart’s testimony⁹

I got the title from Ed Sheeran's Give me Love.  Noticed the superscripts? they're the numbe rof syllables. 

MMDA: Psychos Together

At some point in the slides, Betha and Pia turned looked at each other at the same time. That is awkwaaaard! Girls. We only laughed about it. 

Kiss Me

KISS ME 
(Ed Sheeran, Julie Frost, Justin Franks)

Settle down with me, cover me up, cuddle me in
Lie down with me, yeah, and hold me in your arms
And your heart's against my chest, your lips pressed to my neck
I'm falling for your eyes but they don't know me yet
And with a feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now

Kiss me like you wanna be loved, you wanna be loved, you wanna be loved
This feels like falling in love, falling in love, falling in love

Settle down with me and I'll be your safety, you'll be my lady
I was made to keep your body warm but I'm cold as the wind blows
So hold me in your arms
My heart's against your chest, your lips pressed to my neck
I'm falling for your eyes but they don't know me yet
And with this feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now

Kiss me like you wanna be loved, you wanna be loved, you wanna be loved
This feels like falling in love, falling in love, falling in love

Yeah I've been feeling everything
From hate to love from love to lust from lust to truth
I guess that's how I know you
So hold you close to help you give it up

So kiss me like you wanna be loved, you wanna be loved, you wanna be loved
This feels like falling in love, falling in love, falling in love
Kiss me like you wanna be loved, you wanna be loved, you wanna be loved
This feels like falling in love, falling in love, falling in love

It was my Birthday!

Them. Camwhoring. 

HATE:LOvE

It hurts me now that you found someone else to offer your love.

It hurts me now that you never talked to me.

It hurts me now because you smile so often.

It hurts me so because its not me who caused it.

It hurts me even more for you look so bright and charming.

While i take the stress and stare at your bearing.

I hate the fact that you hated me.

I hate the fact that i hated you.

I hate the fact its over

I hate it.

HATE.

I'll shoot you now and see you in after life.

May it be in heaven or hell, I'll shoot anyone who comes in the way between us.

DEAR CRUSH.

Love me back.

LOVE.