Missing someone

"I love it when you cuddle with someone who is 

cute and smells good, and then later after you've 

said goodbye you can still smell them on your 

clothes."

Personality Disorder Test

Personality Disorder Test Results Paranoid |||||||||||||||| 62% Schizoid |||||||||||||||||| 74% Schizotypal |||||||||||||||| 66% Antisocial |||||||||||||| 58% Borderline |||||||||||||| 58% Histrionic |||||||||||| 42% Narcissistic |||||||||||||| 58% Avoidant |||||||||||| 42% Dependent |||||||||||||||| 62% Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||||||||| 70%

Take Free Personality Disorder Test
Personality Test by SimilarMinds.com

*scores in gray are the average web score 

Test Note: Read the descriptions below to avoid misinterpreting test results (for example, the Antisocial classification does not mean you are a loner, it means you tend to be insensitive towards others).

General Note: the validity and reliability of personality disorders are still lacking in strong statistical evidence and clear agreement in the scientific and medical community.

Author Note:I don't think Schizoid personality is a valid disorder (read), some of the smartest people in history were schizoid because they occupied a remote end of the intelligence bell curve. Schizotypal personality can encompass highly original thinkers as well as totally insane people so I think it's a flawed type. I think the remaining eight disorders are generally valid.

Disorder Info

Eccentric Personality Disorders: Paranoid, Schizoid, Schizotypal 

Individuals with these disorders often appear odd or peculiar.

Paranoid Personality Disorder - individual generally tends to interpret the actions of others as threatening.

Schizoid Personality Disorder - individual generally detached from social relationships, and shows a narrow range of emotional expression in various social settings.

Schizotypal Personality Disorder - individual is uncomfortable in close relationships, has thought or perceptual distortions, and peculiarities of behavior.

Dramatic Personality Disorders: Antisocial, Borderline, Histrionic, and Narcissistic 

Individuals with these disorders have intense, unstable emotions, distorted self-perception, and/or behavioral impulsiveness.

Antisocial Personality Disorder - individual shows a pervasive disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others.

Borderline Personality Disorder - individual shows a generalized pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image, and observable emotions, and significant impulsiveness.

Histrionic Personality Disorder - individual often displays excessive emotionality and attention seeking in various contexts. They tend to overreact to other people, and are often perceived as shallow and self-centered.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder - individual has a grandiose view of themselves, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy that begins by early adulthood and is present in various situations. These individuals are very demanding in their relationships.

Anxious Personality Disorders: Avoidant, Dependent, Obsessive-Compulsive 

Individuals with these disorders often appear anxious or fearful.

Avoidant Personality Disorder - individual is socially inhibited, feels inadequate, and is oversensitive to criticism

Dependent Personality Disorder - individual shows an extreme need to be taken care of that leads to fears of separation, and passive and clinging behavior.

Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder - individual is preoccupied with orderliness, perfectionism, and control at the expense of flexibility, openness, and efficiency. 

***

This is fairly an absolute confirmation to my assumptions..

But i believe this is not totally accurate. You will be very aware of my desperate actions on knowing myself. Undertaking online psychology test and evaluations, is already a big contributing factor to self determination.

I admit i act weird sometimes. You can find me speaking to you in some foreign accent, or put some non suitable ideas in a conversation (esp magic) . But that is who i am, and I never regret being recognised thru that. 

I think i will be putting all my self-digested ideas here, for a matter of self awareness and memory keeping. 

ako si Balunggay

Mga toto kag mga inday.
Sa init indi mag sulay-sulay
Kay mga dahon ko nga gahapay-hapay,
Pirdi pa ang inyo nga kasulhay.

Kabalo bala kamo kung sino ako?
Sa kahanginan ako naga disco.
Ako wala gapang tunto
Kag wala bili maskin singko.

Uyon ako sang imo lawas
Sa tiyan indi gid makaluwas
Tungod sa kanamiton sining mga dahon,
Daw matulolo inyu sip-on.

Intsakto ang hambal ni nanay,
nga magkaon sang utan nga balunggay
Ginahanda sa lamesa nga may petchay.
Nagapasadya sa atun panimalay.

Indi kamu magkabalaka.
Kay ako may ara man sang sustansya.
Tungod sg akon nga pagkaberde,
mga sakit inyo mapirde.

Nagapabaskog sang kalawason,
Maskin inyo mga tagipuso-on.
sa sakit indi na maulimpon,
sugod sg nagkapanit sg daw habon.

Ako si Balunggay,
manamit kag puro bitamina.
Gani kamu dali na,
Agud maagum ang kabuhi nga matawhay.

***

--last night i was eating Malunggay (balunggay in hiligaynon), because my conscience tells me to eat healthy, and i remembered something. 
--I hurriedly searched my notes.
--I was in junior highschool when i made this..
and its kind of rush and rash.
My classmates pushed me on a contest where i got to characterise a healthy food. 
--They used a "malong" and malunggay leaves to dress me up. I was  expecting myself to look like a tree, but i turned to be leafy hamper with clothes to dry.Nevertheless, that had been a perfect bonding moment for us, FRIENDS. i remember we won a lot of awards, beating the seniors. 

-- i was  happy for winning and looking somehow delicious. 

No Cloudy Day for me..

"I went home, hoping sanity will possess my body. But no..."

***

3pm in afternoon class about Perception and Coordination, i gagged myself from bursting out my impatience for a 15 minute break. Why can we just Bring it on! 

and Go Home! 1 month, i haven't seen my parents and my siblings. I m afraid that i'll turn into a schizophrenic if i will not see them any soon..

***

"I came home, hoping sanity will possess my body. But no..."

***

The class ended 4:30, with satisfying quiz results, I sprang from my seat, flirted a little with Khinnet and Mayee, and bid farewell to my crush's dead attention..(is there such thing?)

The Jaro Liko Tagbak Terminal jeepney did not show up, consuming the delicate time left there in for me to board the HPQ bus-- the only busline that enters Concepcion. So i rode my broom...

just kidding..

The secrecy of the wizarding world is at stake in that matter.

***

Going Back... my mind is not in its adequate functioning right now.. i really hope i could finish this...

After series of uncozy, and willing offers of the evening's invisible  dusts to powder-coat my face powered by the bus's own law of motion.. I gave in, just so i can reunite with my family- my Mama Connie and Papa Jimmy.

***

My mama got angry with me..

with all the expenses I've cost her..

What i'll do here is some sort of defending myself... 

In everyday that I live in Iloilo City, in every academic battle for learning and being equipped for the future, part of my every day, where i do not consider my self living at all.. only existing! --- is the crisis of financial sickness.. 

***

I published this post before pa, and I examine it for some revisions, and additions that might make it, dapper and spicy.. ohh.. or when grammar alert comes in the way.. Since sometimes, I cannot bang all the ideas to the blog in just one confrontation, I leave it hanging and published until an emotional baggage burdens my back. and some unloading is required. 

its 4am, and later, I will be on duty at OR... and, whilst I increase the risk of my tanga-tanga sa hangin and lost-lost drama karun, i will try to finish what I started.

***

8th Feb@Bed

Sacrifices come Success..

I believe in that, although, I am most utterly bewildered on my own concept of Success. 

Everything keeps improving, there is continuous growth of curiosity and increasing standards of satisfaction.. You can never know what you want.. or never get to choose because of what you don't have...

If you a have a 20 Philippine Peso... What shall you do?

a. Buy soda (Coca Cola) worth 16 peso for large.

b. Buy two crispy Dumangas bread for 7 peso each.

c. Keep the money and reserved for tomorrow's expenses.

The condition is lacking.. I forgot to say I'm hungry.

I do this three choices often... 

A and B tells you, how important it is for me to attend my hunger.

Coke signifies satisfaction. Bread signifies nourishment and  keeping the money is my own way of preparing for the future, even though im hungry..now that is sacrifice.

***

Now, my typical cityhood life is with these three: SNS

Satisfaction

Nourishment

Sacrifice

Satisfaction, can either way be stated as Contentment, because satisfaction denotes different connotation to every reader.

My SATiSFACTION aspect consists

•  my academic pursuit for excellence and learning
•  my own fulfillment for receiving remarks and performing good at school.
•  the improvement of my craft
•  and alliance to the friends and families.

My NOURiSHMENT aspect consists

• mostly desire to be healthy. (Just last Uweek, i proved that I'm not because I was not accepted for blood donation)
• to meet my esteem needs
• the nourishment of my spiritual and emotional health. (random, whatever comes out of my mind)

My SACRiFiCE aspect consists

• staying in the city, cant barely go home.
• missing your family
• missing your siblings
• conserving your money for tomorrow or till the allowance day
• eating twice a day because thrice will be an expense
• staying in with a nocturnal animal.. (not now!)
• studying every night.
• etc.

***

Why am i putting it all in here?

today, its 11th of Feb, and the post was 6 days ago. oh yeah!

If you know me already, you never have to think twice about blaming it on school loads.

I am a student nurse, genetically-modified-by-experience-to stay up late and ignore the luxury of sleep a comfortable bed can offer.

I still remember the carefree days of highschool, and now i can hardly swallow the overwhelming transformation college have imposed on me. Most of them are good, and im happy knowing people with beautiful souls, who influenced me greatly and contributed to my personality development. For me, everyday is soul-searching.
Trying to look for fragments that will complete my whole being. Meeting people along the way, learning things of immense value, knowing ideas from fewer great minds and identifying sensibility in the impaired.


 I began to wander what my past life was.. if ever that is true...  If i was liberated like  pigeon, or keen as a meerkat. 
(Now im starting to think outside of the box)
***

when i arrived at Iloilo City way back in 2009, every scenery i see , reminds me of how promising my college life is going to be, and i kept that thought just until i discovered the horrors of living in the same room with a nocturnal animal .. (forgive my brutality)