The BER Months

Christmas Eve, I just can’t sleep.

I am dreaming of a cold white Christmas.

1. I’ve got loads of things coming up in my mind, and i can’t seem to form them all in sentences that would tell directly what I feel. I suppose, everyone feels that way, huh? I haven’t updated much on my journal these days even when most of the time at home, I spent sleeping and staring at the television, or maybe because home in the present situation is a refuge place for a battle-worn soldier like me. I don’t want to begin my academic outcries in here because all the procrastination and stuffs I started this second semester, don’t give me the rights to do that (Insert Superego Ghost). The scent of home and cabinet-stocked pillows lulls me to rest my humble muscles to the point of not moving anywhere at all like getting into the bathroom-kanding moments, I’ve got a lot those. One more thing about home is when you see your siblings, all grown out that big and tall, and you feel so old inside and out, physically and mentally. I’m happy to see them, being so healthy and well-nourished; my assessment skills won’t fail me at that. It’s now difficult to pick on them. They seem to have acquired cognitive reasoning over things.

2. My Mama and Papa never stopped working. Iced candy and relip here and there. It makes me upset sometimes, that they have to work hard for us, and me, knowing the amount my course and lodging costs. We are very thankful to God for giving us loving parents, and for keeping us in the best of health. Every day, I pray to Him, that He will strengthen and keep us together. . I only got three months left at nursing school. I’m so nearing the finale of my studentship and hoping along with it is the end of financial dilemmas at home. My older brother can’t be with us these holidays. He’s working on an inter-island ship (I haven’t had much idea about it), and the peak season requires him to stay on board. This year’s Christmas is incomplete without him. Partially perfect Christmas.  

Little girl with undying hyperactivity. 

3. I stayed too long in the city. I babysit-ed my pamangkin with glee, she even punched me in the face for not responding everytime she says sorry. She’s so polite now but still hyperactive. She has this Ipad and I spent the night exploring the games and becoming proficient.

Team AWEsome with Ma'am Sioson and her daughter, Bea. 

4. Two weeks before the year-ender for us Batch Bituon officially ends the RLEs (TBC opcors) and hints the beginning of holiday vacaciones which meant long dreamy rests, I was the team leader of my subgroup. Hahaha. I went on duty on my first day with a fully enthusiastic smile and the time it was for me to make my speech, i told my members that there’s one thing we can constantly cling on within ourselves, it’s the CHARM. If most of us were secured about having SKA in totality (which they say are the legal qualities an SN should possess) no one would have ever agreed with me, or might just me alone. Nonetheless, Charm is the best tool during collaborative relationships (doctors, staff nurses, etc.). From that day forward, we called ourselves, TEAM CHARMING. The other subgroup was called Team Elegance. We gave the idea too, although it really originated from King Cordova himself, the founder of King Cordova’s Hospital for Cardiopulmonary Maladies.

        Our Christmas party at HiWay 21 KTV was a blast. I was able to exhaust my larynx but still get to talk the next day.

That's Summer. She's my Best Friend. 

5. My love life right now have hanged out of balance, it might stay that way for long until I meet the next season for romance, a real romance. I’m not searching right now, especially because school and family are obligating me to look ahead and follow the schedules like 6 am arrival at the ward. I have loads of fun memories with my friends to ever think about the past relationship I was left figuratively hanging for 5 days, which made me give up on it. I will have another post for those hate-love-lust-truth transitions in my life (it pricks my heart every time I think about it). I’m haaaappy everything had gone too well for me whilst on the process of forgetting the feeling, you know, letting your brain take the wheel.

Nocturnal.

6. Listening to Ed Sheeran’s songs and his fantastic covers in Infinite Playlist. Man, he is incredible. His composition more than the lyrics has got a lot of stories to tell especially because I find them exclusively relatable. I wouldn’t want to romanticize everything here; Watching 500 days of Summer, meeting Summer herself and talking to a Hobbitch (Hobbit + Witch) friend are all letting me swallow reality and expel heavy end-of-the-day sighs. My support system isn’t failing me after all.

So dare of my neighbor to turn his music so loud when all of them are increasingly disturbing as they play and less likely aren’t helping me recover? I’m speculating he’s in Padugo stage. I know the feeling and off my sympathies go.

My brother there is the guitarist. The three ladies do the vocals and modelling. It's not as if they don't have the potential to make a band someday. 

My cousins too are singing torpe songs in a full moon, I, getting clouded by the aroma of mosquito repellent and bearing it long as the Wifi here (at my Tita’s house) is free. I’m praying the connection at home gets fixed real soon. 

We didn't have the latest picture. We're 6-manned actually. 

7. Getting reunited with your high school chums again, it was not one of the fun moments just like before. Since then i learned to keep quiet and listen to how they exchange information about the people who impressed them and superficial sort of things. I found it excessively pointless sometimes but I had a great laugh. I think my mind is searching for things with a more substance aside from the bulk it has with research. Research is getting into my nerves now; I probably should start editing our manuscript before the year ends or else I might be spending an entire year of editing something, entailed by superstitions.

Bittersweet. 

8. Respectively Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1and 2 are coming out in HBO, and I assume in two days’ time it’ll be. I have never outgrown this fandom and will be carrying it to the grave. Just a moment ago I was contemplating over the future of my collected Harry Potter items like coloring books, post cards, and stuffed toys (all are second-hand, thanks Booksale and Ukay-ukay) for I think my profession will have me board a plane and go abroad, there will no one to look after them since I was not able to influence the strong minds of the people at home. Somewhere in Europe I wish, to some place near my idols and so i can gaze at gingerheads everywhere until the occasion gets usual to me. Harry Potter series- it has my life in it. Been updating my HP planner, dueling friends at Pottermore, watching fan-made tribute videos in Youtube and reading HP and the Prisoner of Azkaban, my favorite above all.

9. My mama’s headache is troubling me. I spent an hour researching about this disease, I won’t be revealing about it. She will have a nurse soon for a son and there’s no way I’m going to allow anyone outside the medical profession to just tell her to take aspirin each time she has headache. I suspect it to be cerebrovascular in origin. I did my brief and not-so exhaustive history taking and she’d been having headache for a long time. I was telling her to submit herself to CT scan and have a check-up. I just hope I can convince her the soonest. It will all be quite ironic because the health teachings we generously give to touch the lives of our patients, can’t even bore themselves get through our parents.

This summarizes by whole Ber months.