Halo-Halo at Aling Nida's No Longer the same without YOU!

Not really that of Aling Nilda in one of the stalls at Lapaz Market, Iloilo.
(got this from Google).  all the same, a perfect Filipino delicacy for the Summer Season.

      Last Thursday, or was it? i forgot. No matter. I was walking down Lapaz Market, with second thoughts of going to Booksale for a bit of light reading or JD Restaurant for a hot Lomi snack size, I momentarily paused and stared at the next side of the road, Then I saw Aling Nilda's Halo-Halo stall, and i knew what i wanted.
    My mind swam. 

    I can still remember her smile, her lips inches from her spoon. We had one special order which had barquillos in it, mango tidbits, and macapuno strips. She was smiling. Teasing me because she finds it unusual and a rare occasion for me to spend more than a hundred for a day. She's wrong. If spending meant for food, it goes all the way.  

   I crossed the road, careful not tripping over the swampy sidewalk. The woman, im not sure if she's Aling Nida was crushing a big ice cube and spoon by spoon, her assistant places their colorful ingredients on bowls lining up. The stall was packed today. I can barely ease my way in, and an old aged woman attempted to share the table with me, but maybe the strange angle of my legs suggested an unwelcoming mood, so she went to the other table. I did really want to feel solitary that moment, just so I can think clearly, and well, concentrate on my eating. These days, I have been starving my self, intentionally, yeah, for every student, or at least for me- its normal especially if you wake up past noon and missed breakfast and lunch, and you feel just great because you wont be spending money for two meals, this time, just one. Yet you compensate by buying a special halo-halo. But its worth 35 Php only. That would be enough to satisfy my need to clean my gut. And successfully, I did after going home, that one was explosive.

   This time, i was teasing her. 

  We shared one bowl, since i cannot afford buying two special servings, and she   understands it. That's what I like about her. Very understanding, considerate, gentle and laughter loving. She insisted in having all the mango strips. She took it all away each time i get to scoop them. She really liked seeing me close to annoyance, or when my eye brows meet, and my wrinkles show. But I love her, that's all there ever be even when the last sweetest mango strip melts out of her tongue.

Yeah. i was thinking very deep. My mind was swimming, along with the crushing i did  in the impacted ice of my halo-halo. I ate my leche flan first, and realised how lousily made it is. Never mind. Every spoonful i get was like a memory to me. A memory i can easily reminisce everytime i taste camote, mango, ube, langka, corn kernel and milk.

It has been two months since i broke up with her. I never saw her face again. I summed up all the courage to talk to her, but she drew the words out of my mouth for insisting that i had to tell her this instance, thru a text message. There had been no chance for us to talk, we ended in goodbyes, without personal conversations, without any formality. I begin to wonder if the results i see before my eyes could really justify the courage that i thought i was having in the first place. My fear of confronting my problems didnt make any difference at all, to my assumption-that I'm a coward, that I cannot call myself a man. 

  at the moment when I hear the people beside me chattering and laughing, and i see in their eyes the happiness brought by the sweetness of aling Nida's halo-halo, maybe the crushing i did with my eyes is effective in channeling my emotions down to what i will digest later on, instead of bursting to tears, a sentimental thing that only triggers when no one is watching. And when i get home, i will surely bury myself elsewhere and never move as if I finally met my gravestone. 

Here i am, solitary. Focusing on my studies, staying out of anyone's attention. Covert. Family-oriented. Loveless, but never regretted everyday that I had with dada.

Well, maybe, in the future, I will be stepping in Aling Nida's stall again, no longer alone. Who knows. 

Missing someone

"I love it when you cuddle with someone who is 

cute and smells good, and then later after you've 

said goodbye you can still smell them on your 

clothes."

you shall not care

i am actually wondering if what I'm doing to my life right now.

Trio

This picture simply explains the trio..

I for my myself, think i have the three of them in me. When it comes to lectures and examinations.

 I'm Hermione in history and English (some in BioScience). Too honest knowing everything.

I'm  Ron in social sciences and Nursing. Funny,  not remembering something. 

Im Harry in statistics, algebra, economics. Brave enough to ask for the answers.

Pottermore.com sorted me to Hufflepuff.. 

This is JK's official online reading site, and  i never regretted running out from my biostatistics class just to get the clue, answer it and catch the magic quill. If you want to know more about my experience during the pottemore fever, which basically prompted  every potterhead to stay up late,early and face all odds (including the time difference and struggle) just to get included in the lucky 1 million, i'll be posting it real soon. it isnt something to look forward to. 

Goodnight Potterheads!

* * *

Having been sorted to Hufflepuff by Pottermore, and as i imagined Minerva McGonagall or JK Rowling placing the sorting hat on top of my head, its a differently one way ticket to self determination. I know that JK describes hufflepuff as kind, honest and where the rest that doesn't fit in Gryffindor, Slytherin and Ravenclaw would undoubtedly belong to. 

"You might belong in Hufflepuff,
Where they are just and loyal,
Those patient Hufflepuffs are true,
And unafraid of toil" -The Sorting Hat

eh, kung mahal ko siya?

e

indi kami tamad

Pia May (the Gardener's wife), Grelyn (the Grayscale), Garrett (the Chest tube sensation),
Adrian (the Reposition man), me (the Wizard) and Sheena (the Goddess kuno).

I really don't know how these people ended up together neither to how am i going to spend my entire research  experience with them (since we will be conducting our study at our town). Right now, i shouldn't really dwell much about my feelings, but surely, life with these feces, um, i mean faces is fun? okay! No joke!!!

They are my research teammates who happened also to be my group mates in clinical exposures. 

These days I have been psychologically and physically occupied by research works! i have been cursing the idea that I haven't had any background about research. We're not taught in high school. I'm tired of condemnation, so i chose to blame myself.

 After all it will be a learning experience with all the pressure and panicky vibes in the batch, and the hours of rummaging the published theses in the library, its quite overwhelming and challenging. So,I hope the  effort we spent on our work could bring us all to approval of the study. Best of luck. 

Im also overwhelmed with my parents support.With all the statistical gathering they conducted at our local health unit, just to complete the background of our study. I never had the chance to get back to Concepcion since January because all the clinical rotations, paper works and additional minor subject requirements are obviously queuing, piling my day and thinning my body . Surprisingly, Im down to one last- Research. 

And I really hope that i am on my way to Level 4. 

****

I am honestly in love with these people, regardless of their height, color, attitude, preference, race, knowledge and economic status.